i should have my friend, taryn, guest blog sometimes. she's funky and creative. she's fun and easy to be with. and she has an amazing little girl, nora, who is curious and inquisitive and not ashamed to speak her mind or ask questions. there have been many stories in the past that i wish i could have captured on my blog because they are funny.
aren't they the cutest!?
recently we were hanging out with these 2 favorite girls of mine when nora asked if i was a boy. taryn told her that some girls have short hair and mine is just really short. but, you see it wasn't my hair that got her questioning. it was my chest. as if she wasn't convinced she began patting my chest and asking about my "boobies." taryn and i sort of giggled to diffuse the "situation" and i told taryn she could handle that. she calmly told nora that she'd have to talk to her about it later. and later she did. i got a text from taryn that said, "fyi i ended up telling nora that women have many different chest shapes, but we all have vaginas. spread the word." i almost said an "amen" when i read that text. taryn was able to keep the integrity of her daughter's curiosity without shaming her or over explaining. a child doesn't need to know that i have had surgery to remove my breasts. or that something was wrong with my breasts. it's that simple and true...we all have different shapes and sizes of chest, but we all have vaginas. i'm doing my part to spread the word.
i'm thankful charis has nora in her life
this is a funny kid story laced with something very heavy. in the days following this i realized that my own daughter may not grow up expecting to see or feel breasts on women like nora did. i am not afraid to change clothes in front of my daughter because i don't have anything to hide. but i realize that she is seeing a woman's body differently than most (all) little girls. it's not that i have a "flat chest" or small breasts; it's that in place of breasts i have scars. adam and i are aware that this will affect her as she becomes a woman, but by no means do we think it's something we will talk about anytime soon. i have no idea how old she'll be when she starts asking where my "boobies" are. hopefully by then, i'll have reconstruction. but that isn't guaranteed. in the mean time i want to make sure that she doesn't see me as ashamed of or embarrassed by my body. and that's hard because i am. i'm learning to know WHOSE i am; that i am beautiful and loved despite how my body looks. one of my favorite passages that i'm clinging to now is
"For we are God's handiwork (workmanship; masterpiece), created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10