it's official

where do i even begin?

on the day we got home from San Francisco we found out we were going to have a baby. shocking! no, really, shocking. that was over 5 weeks ago. and it's been interesting. for me it's mostly overwhelming...lots of feelings and not all are good. now that our news is out and i've heard the little one's heart beat twice, it's becoming more real for me. our friends and family know, the high schoolers know, our co-workers know. it feels less and less like a strange dream i was in and more like "i'm having a baby."

i have to admit it's hard and i don't think people admit that. but, when you have friends that have been longing (& trying) for a baby for years, and it just happens to you, it forces you to have some hard conversations with God. i have ALWAYS loved Psalm 139, that talks about God knitting us together in our mother's womb. it's made me realize that even when i don't get it, God has a purpose for each life HE creates. and that comforts me now. it doesn't take away the sadness i feel for my friend. but it does get me little excited about the little life He is knitting together in my womb right now...arms, legs, organs, eyelids, nail beds, toothbuds and so on and little one is just the size of a lime. Amazing.

we will be embarking on a new journey. i have to admit, i'm scared. stay tuned for our continued adventure.
here is a picture of the stick i peed on and little one's first picture. (proof)