I am not one of those people that feels like "the Lord really laid this on my heart" kind of people. I probably don't hear from Him so much because I'm usually doing all the talking. So when (if) it happens I feel super special b/c it's something that He wants me to hear specifically from Him. And it happened recently.
While I was at the beach for our YL staff women's retreat, God spoke to me. And it was really cool. So cool that as I thought about it today, I felt that it's worth sharing. During our time there we looked at Jesus healing the bleeding woman (Mark 5:24-34). This has always been a story I loved b/c God not only healed her physically, He freed her spiritually, mentally & emotionally. She left her encounter with Christ changed on all sorts of levels.
Anyway...one morning I went for a walk on the beach. It was such a great morning. I spent my walk praying (me talking) and just observing. I noticed that a lot of people were out looking for seashells. So, I started looking down to see if I could find a really cool one. This beach had some great shells. This is when it happened...
I was looking for shells--kinda. I love the spiral ones. And i was looking for one that was perfect and whole. In the meantime I'm passing up and over looking hundreds of other shells. That's when I felt the Lord say, "See, I don't look for the one that is whole or put together, but rather the one who is broken. And in that brokenness or imperfection I find beauty." I was so struck by this. And I really thought about how sometimes I even feel that I can't go to Him broken, but yet that's when I need Him the most. Then there are the shells that look perfect, and the moment I pick them up and turn them around, they are broken. Or the ones that just have their insides exposed. All are beautiful in their own way. The bleeding woman was a broken, but beautiful shell. I am a beautiful, but broken shell. An God is inviting me, beckoning me, to come to Him. In fact, He seeks me out as I try to hide among the other broken shells, or as I try to show my best side to fool Him (& others) into thinking I'm okay, I'm not broken. Yet, with any further digging He finds that I am not whole and I am ashamed of this. And still He passes up the perfect & whole shells to pick me up and take me home because to Him I am beautiful, I am a treasure.
I was so thankful that God showed this to me and continues to allow it to sink into my heart.