I am not one of those people that feels like "the Lord really laid this on my heart" kind of people. I probably don't hear from Him so much because I'm usually doing all the talking. So when (if) it happens I feel super special b/c it's something that He wants me to hear specifically from Him. And it happened recently.
While I was at the beach for our YL staff women's retreat, God spoke to me. And it was really cool. So cool that as I thought about it today, I felt that it's worth sharing. During our time there we looked at Jesus healing the bleeding woman (Mark 5:24-34). This has always been a story I loved b/c God not only healed her physically, He freed her spiritually, mentally & emotionally. She left her encounter with Christ changed on all sorts of levels.
Anyway...one morning I went for a walk on the beach. It was such a great morning. I spent my walk praying (me talking) and just observing. I noticed that a lot of people were out looking for seashells. So, I started looking down to see if I could find a really cool one. This beach had some great shells. This is when it happened...
I was looking for shells--kinda. I love the spiral ones. And i was looking for one that was perfect and whole. In the meantime I'm passing up and over looking hundreds of other shells. That's when I felt the Lord say, "See, I don't look for the one that is whole or put together, but rather the one who is broken. And in that brokenness or imperfection I find beauty." I was so struck by this. And I really thought about how sometimes I even feel that I can't go to Him broken, but yet that's when I need Him the most. Then there are the shells that look perfect, and the moment I pick them up and turn them around, they are broken. Or the ones that just have their insides exposed. All are beautiful in their own way. The bleeding woman was a broken, but beautiful shell. I am a beautiful, but broken shell. An God is inviting me, beckoning me, to come to Him. In fact, He seeks me out as I try to hide among the other broken shells, or as I try to show my best side to fool Him (& others) into thinking I'm okay, I'm not broken. Yet, with any further digging He finds that I am not whole and I am ashamed of this. And still He passes up the perfect & whole shells to pick me up and take me home because to Him I am beautiful, I am a treasure.
I was so thankful that God showed this to me and continues to allow it to sink into my heart.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
A Year of Surprises
It has been a year of surprises for me...and by year I mean the one that started November 8th, 2008 when I turned 30.
I started the year with a surprise birthday party (amazingly pulled off by my husband, sister, and best friend). It was absolutely amazing and the best surprise ever. Since I was turning 30 I wanted to be celebrated big time...and I was. Then in March we took our first trip to California where I was surprised to find out how much I love it (northern Cali that is). Driving along the Pacific Ocean had to be the best. But, the surprise came on March 15th after our trip when we found out I was pregnant. Yes...SURPRISE!! What an amazing journey that has been so far...I have come to love this little life growing inside of me. When we found out she is a girl, I was surprised to realize that I was excited about that. I always saw myself with boys...mainly b/c when it comes to bows and monograms and all that girly stuff, I'm at a loss. Plus, we girls can be mean. But, I was excited and that was a big surprise. Last week I got another surprise when I took a quick trip with about 14 other YL staff women to the beach. I am technically the Regional Womens Coordinator or something like that, so it is part of my job to care for the women on staff and to give them a voice in the greater mission of YL. I actually love this part (surprise). Anyway...these women, some of whom I just met, through me a surprise baby shower while we were at the beach. It was such a sweet surprise. They really got me! I got our stroller and they spent a few minutes sharing things they appreciated about their parents and even things about me, then they prayed for us. It was simply wonderful.
walking into the room--shock!
the ladies "surprising" me!
i mean--who knew a stroller would be so exciting!!
So, here I am, 7 weeks away from becoming a mom. Yes, I'm excited. But I am also freaked out. I know that I'm in for some more surprises (especially since the "year" isn't up yet).
I started the year with a surprise birthday party (amazingly pulled off by my husband, sister, and best friend). It was absolutely amazing and the best surprise ever. Since I was turning 30 I wanted to be celebrated big time...and I was. Then in March we took our first trip to California where I was surprised to find out how much I love it (northern Cali that is). Driving along the Pacific Ocean had to be the best. But, the surprise came on March 15th after our trip when we found out I was pregnant. Yes...SURPRISE!! What an amazing journey that has been so far...I have come to love this little life growing inside of me. When we found out she is a girl, I was surprised to realize that I was excited about that. I always saw myself with boys...mainly b/c when it comes to bows and monograms and all that girly stuff, I'm at a loss. Plus, we girls can be mean. But, I was excited and that was a big surprise. Last week I got another surprise when I took a quick trip with about 14 other YL staff women to the beach. I am technically the Regional Womens Coordinator or something like that, so it is part of my job to care for the women on staff and to give them a voice in the greater mission of YL. I actually love this part (surprise). Anyway...these women, some of whom I just met, through me a surprise baby shower while we were at the beach. It was such a sweet surprise. They really got me! I got our stroller and they spent a few minutes sharing things they appreciated about their parents and even things about me, then they prayed for us. It was simply wonderful.
walking into the room--shock!
the ladies "surprising" me!
i mean--who knew a stroller would be so exciting!!
So, here I am, 7 weeks away from becoming a mom. Yes, I'm excited. But I am also freaked out. I know that I'm in for some more surprises (especially since the "year" isn't up yet).
Sunday, August 30, 2009
it's the final countdown
since i've was up at 4am, i thought i'd really give y'all some updates!
think http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_IKcMl_a9A (proceed to jam for 5 min)
okay so this really has nothing to do with the band Europe or their song, but as I approached the 30 weeks mark, it kept coming to mind. really, just the line: "it's the final countdown!"
for me there have been a few places in time of this pregnancy that really mark it for me. the beginning when we found out. of course. 12 weeks...when we told others our news. 20 weeks...b/c that's halfway. and now 30 weeks. i mean--this is the home stretch. in a distance event it's that last few laps or meters or whatever. i can't necessarily get to this finish line any sooner or with more effort, nor do i desire to. i have to admit that this pregnancy has been amazing. what a journey it's been for me. i'm entering motherhood. (that's a whole other blog post) i am so thankful for the journey God has brought me on as he prepares me for something bigger than myself. spiritually, it's drawn me closer to God as I am constantly amazed that He designed and created us this way--to have another human growing inside my belly. those words alone are crazy. but, when i'm lying in bed and this little girl is doing all sorts of crazy kicks, rolls, and punches i am in AWE with a God who loves me, who created me to be who I am just as he knits together our baby girl in my belly. i love it. it's definitly been emotional and not because of the hormones. it just is...things become clearer, relationships already begin to change, you think more about stuff (like another person), you encounter things that are new. physically, it's been great. the beginning not as much fun as now. i was waiting with anticipation for my belly to expand...i couldn't wait to be bigger. now, it's a joke with me and adam about how huge i thought i'd get. pregnancy has done a reversal on my self-image...i love my body more now than i ever have. (not sure i will be able to say that in November, but hey) my body is doing something it was created to do...carry this little one. yeah, it's strange and strange things happen, but i have really been feeling great. and for that i am so thankful. i would like to thank swimming and pre-natal yoga for this too. i hope my final 10 weeks continue to be as great has the first 30 have been.
we've taken a picture each week sinc 20 (mainly b/c i wanted to make a flip book). so enjoy the growing belly! (i'm missing weeks 21 & 22)
20 weeks 23 weeks
24 weeks 25 weeks
26 weeks 27 weeks
28 weeks 29 weeks
30 weeks!!
think http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_IKcMl_a9A (proceed to jam for 5 min)
okay so this really has nothing to do with the band Europe or their song, but as I approached the 30 weeks mark, it kept coming to mind. really, just the line: "it's the final countdown!"
for me there have been a few places in time of this pregnancy that really mark it for me. the beginning when we found out. of course. 12 weeks...when we told others our news. 20 weeks...b/c that's halfway. and now 30 weeks. i mean--this is the home stretch. in a distance event it's that last few laps or meters or whatever. i can't necessarily get to this finish line any sooner or with more effort, nor do i desire to. i have to admit that this pregnancy has been amazing. what a journey it's been for me. i'm entering motherhood. (that's a whole other blog post) i am so thankful for the journey God has brought me on as he prepares me for something bigger than myself. spiritually, it's drawn me closer to God as I am constantly amazed that He designed and created us this way--to have another human growing inside my belly. those words alone are crazy. but, when i'm lying in bed and this little girl is doing all sorts of crazy kicks, rolls, and punches i am in AWE with a God who loves me, who created me to be who I am just as he knits together our baby girl in my belly. i love it. it's definitly been emotional and not because of the hormones. it just is...things become clearer, relationships already begin to change, you think more about stuff (like another person), you encounter things that are new. physically, it's been great. the beginning not as much fun as now. i was waiting with anticipation for my belly to expand...i couldn't wait to be bigger. now, it's a joke with me and adam about how huge i thought i'd get. pregnancy has done a reversal on my self-image...i love my body more now than i ever have. (not sure i will be able to say that in November, but hey) my body is doing something it was created to do...carry this little one. yeah, it's strange and strange things happen, but i have really been feeling great. and for that i am so thankful. i would like to thank swimming and pre-natal yoga for this too. i hope my final 10 weeks continue to be as great has the first 30 have been.
we've taken a picture each week sinc 20 (mainly b/c i wanted to make a flip book). so enjoy the growing belly! (i'm missing weeks 21 & 22)
20 weeks 23 weeks
24 weeks 25 weeks
26 weeks 27 weeks
28 weeks 29 weeks
30 weeks!!
inspired yumminess
so, around late spring/early summer i decided i would try to make it to one movie a week. we were doing pretty good on this, especially since movies (after their first 2 weeks) at AMC are only 5 BUCKS on weeknights. in the beginning we saw a slew of movies...i can't even remember. but, now it's gotten tricky b/c there isn't much out (playing at AMC) that we are interested in seeing and we have to wait 2 weeks to pay only $5 or use these passes we have. anyway...
a couple weeks ago we saw Julie & Julia. we loved it. meryl streep is amazing and we just fell in love with julia child. well, all i wanted to do afterwards was EAT. i was so inspired. no, this is not turning into a julie-type blog where i cook my way through julia child's cookbook. at one point julie had made this bruschetta that looked amazing. i love bruschetta. as they ate it, adam and i both commented on how good it looked. so, later that week i headed to the Tailgate Market for some farm fresh tomatoes, basil and garlic. i used ciabatta bread and lightly browned it in a pan with olive oil. then i topped the yummy goodness on top and ta-da!! i mean--it was really amazing. I know it's not good to brag about yourself, but for real. All you have to do is mix together chopped tomotates, garlic & basil (a bit of s&p too). let sit in fridge for a couple house to marinate. heat olive oil in skillet and lightly brown/toast slices of ciabatta bread. spoon topping onto slice and enjoy.
the finished product (pictures just don't do it justice)
a couple weeks ago we saw Julie & Julia. we loved it. meryl streep is amazing and we just fell in love with julia child. well, all i wanted to do afterwards was EAT. i was so inspired. no, this is not turning into a julie-type blog where i cook my way through julia child's cookbook. at one point julie had made this bruschetta that looked amazing. i love bruschetta. as they ate it, adam and i both commented on how good it looked. so, later that week i headed to the Tailgate Market for some farm fresh tomatoes, basil and garlic. i used ciabatta bread and lightly browned it in a pan with olive oil. then i topped the yummy goodness on top and ta-da!! i mean--it was really amazing. I know it's not good to brag about yourself, but for real. All you have to do is mix together chopped tomotates, garlic & basil (a bit of s&p too). let sit in fridge for a couple house to marinate. heat olive oil in skillet and lightly brown/toast slices of ciabatta bread. spoon topping onto slice and enjoy.
the finished product (pictures just don't do it justice)
Friday, August 21, 2009
Lagniape for us
This post is mostly b/c it's time for a new one and because I can.
Shortly after we moved into our new house and got our cable hooked up, Adam and I discovered a little lagniape (a little something extra). By cable I do mean channels 2 to 13 for about $12 a month. Anyway...as we were channel surfing we discovered something was showing on channel 7...usually it was fuzz b/c channel 7 is HBO. But this time is wasn't fuzzy, it was crystal clear. Could this be? Yes, it's true, in addition to ABC, NBC, CBS, PBS, the CW and those others we have HBO. And we both are a little obsessed with it...I've watched movies over and over just b/c I can (HULK and a Jason Bourne to name a couple). And...we've just gotten into True Blood, the Vampire serious. I have to admit it's a bit sketch and it goes beyond my affinity towards vampires (thanks to Lost Boys).
Thank you TimeWarner for our nice little gift.
Shortly after we moved into our new house and got our cable hooked up, Adam and I discovered a little lagniape (a little something extra). By cable I do mean channels 2 to 13 for about $12 a month. Anyway...as we were channel surfing we discovered something was showing on channel 7...usually it was fuzz b/c channel 7 is HBO. But this time is wasn't fuzzy, it was crystal clear. Could this be? Yes, it's true, in addition to ABC, NBC, CBS, PBS, the CW and those others we have HBO. And we both are a little obsessed with it...I've watched movies over and over just b/c I can (HULK and a Jason Bourne to name a couple). And...we've just gotten into True Blood, the Vampire serious. I have to admit it's a bit sketch and it goes beyond my affinity towards vampires (thanks to Lost Boys).
Thank you TimeWarner for our nice little gift.
Friday, July 31, 2009
last day
As I drove into work today, I realized that it was my last time making the drive from University area to Cotswold, where my office is. How exciting!!
For the past 2 years we've gotten to live right by UNCC at a discounted rate while Adam was in school. He's been able to walk to class and meetings. It's really been a gift to us. But is the only transition word I can think to use, yet it implies negativity. Oh well. But, our time there is over. No more frat parties. No more close quarters. No more steps. No more pool. No more apartment living (for now). No more taking our recycling to Reedy Creek park. We are moving "in town" as I like to say. And we are both so excited. It's going to be great (& more grown up feeling) to be in a house. It's going to be HUGE to be close to church, my work, and friends. It's going to be great to take walks in a neighborhood instead of a campus. It's going to be fun to be so close to places like Sir Ed's and Ben & Jerry's. Mostly, it's going to be fun (& a little strange at first) to have a nursery. We were fortunate to find a rental with enough rooms to have a separate "study" for Adam and a nursery for baby girl patwa. And I'm thankful for that.
I know this seems dramatic. It kinda is.
We hope to have people over too...so come anytime!!
For the past 2 years we've gotten to live right by UNCC at a discounted rate while Adam was in school. He's been able to walk to class and meetings. It's really been a gift to us. But is the only transition word I can think to use, yet it implies negativity. Oh well. But, our time there is over. No more frat parties. No more close quarters. No more steps. No more pool. No more apartment living (for now). No more taking our recycling to Reedy Creek park. We are moving "in town" as I like to say. And we are both so excited. It's going to be great (& more grown up feeling) to be in a house. It's going to be HUGE to be close to church, my work, and friends. It's going to be great to take walks in a neighborhood instead of a campus. It's going to be fun to be so close to places like Sir Ed's and Ben & Jerry's. Mostly, it's going to be fun (& a little strange at first) to have a nursery. We were fortunate to find a rental with enough rooms to have a separate "study" for Adam and a nursery for baby girl patwa. And I'm thankful for that.
I know this seems dramatic. It kinda is.
We hope to have people over too...so come anytime!!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
24 hours of Booty
This past weekend we participated in 24 hours of booty, a 24-hour cycling event to raise money for cancer. When I say participate I mean that I volunteered & cheered and Adam rode with some guys on a team called Hope for Sydney.
Adam with the team jersey on getting ready to start
Our friend, Sydney, was diagnosed in December with a significant brain tumor. This event was amazing. I remember one time going to a Race for the Cure race with my mom and seeing all the survivors of breast cancer...it's completely overwhelming. I realize that both my parents are cancer survivors, and for that I am so grateful. This event was similar...there are teams biking for loved ones who have lost their battle, who are in the fight, and who have won their battle against cancer. Cancer really does affect just about everyone.
Hope for Sydney Team
What made this experience even more incredible was doing it with Sydney.
me & Syd before our shift on Friday
We decided to volunteer together Friday & Saturday. Sydney said to me, "Everyone is here for a reason and I want to find out why they are here." Let me just say that Sydney is friendly and super bold. I realized my own inability to ask questions of strangers. Not Syd. She has no shame in asking, "so why are you here?" During our volunteer shift on Friday we met a handful of folks and got to hear their story (mainly b/c Sydney asked them why they were here). We met a man who lost his wife, Christine, to breast cancer in February. He shared his story so freely that I had this moment of awe that here the 3 of us were in the middle of "bootyville" as this guy shares what cancer did to his wife's body and spirit. It was heartbreaking. Then there was the teacher from Hickory who started "Team Jordan" for one of his students diagnosed in 2007 with Leukemia. This is just one of many races they ride in. Jordan is doing well and still under intense chemo. We later met his dad too. And there was Brian, a cancer survivor himself, who matched Sydney in spunk and energy. Later he took Sydney to meet his family and they totally embraced her. It was fun to cheer for him as he rode the Survivor's lap. These are just a few stories from the thousands that were there. Watching Sydney with other people is amazing. I wish I had the boldness she does. I wish I even had the desire she does.
Syd working hard! (notice the cool tat & free t-shirt)
Adam and Hope for Sydney did great too. They rode at different times throughout the 24 hours; some even through the night. They raised a bunch of money for cancer research. But ultimately they rallied around this amazing family, the Gaylords. It was so fun to see so many people come out to cheer on the cyclists and to love on Todd, Sydney & the girls. I love seeing our community in action. I imagine it's exactly what God desires for all of us.
Vail & Haven sporting their Hope for Sydney tees! so cute!
Next year you may see me and our little one on a bike. (it may be safer for her to ride with Adam) But I know I want to ride on Hope for Sydney team every year!!!
Adam with the team jersey on getting ready to start
Our friend, Sydney, was diagnosed in December with a significant brain tumor. This event was amazing. I remember one time going to a Race for the Cure race with my mom and seeing all the survivors of breast cancer...it's completely overwhelming. I realize that both my parents are cancer survivors, and for that I am so grateful. This event was similar...there are teams biking for loved ones who have lost their battle, who are in the fight, and who have won their battle against cancer. Cancer really does affect just about everyone.
Hope for Sydney Team
What made this experience even more incredible was doing it with Sydney.
me & Syd before our shift on Friday
We decided to volunteer together Friday & Saturday. Sydney said to me, "Everyone is here for a reason and I want to find out why they are here." Let me just say that Sydney is friendly and super bold. I realized my own inability to ask questions of strangers. Not Syd. She has no shame in asking, "so why are you here?" During our volunteer shift on Friday we met a handful of folks and got to hear their story (mainly b/c Sydney asked them why they were here). We met a man who lost his wife, Christine, to breast cancer in February. He shared his story so freely that I had this moment of awe that here the 3 of us were in the middle of "bootyville" as this guy shares what cancer did to his wife's body and spirit. It was heartbreaking. Then there was the teacher from Hickory who started "Team Jordan" for one of his students diagnosed in 2007 with Leukemia. This is just one of many races they ride in. Jordan is doing well and still under intense chemo. We later met his dad too. And there was Brian, a cancer survivor himself, who matched Sydney in spunk and energy. Later he took Sydney to meet his family and they totally embraced her. It was fun to cheer for him as he rode the Survivor's lap. These are just a few stories from the thousands that were there. Watching Sydney with other people is amazing. I wish I had the boldness she does. I wish I even had the desire she does.
Syd working hard! (notice the cool tat & free t-shirt)
Adam and Hope for Sydney did great too. They rode at different times throughout the 24 hours; some even through the night. They raised a bunch of money for cancer research. But ultimately they rallied around this amazing family, the Gaylords. It was so fun to see so many people come out to cheer on the cyclists and to love on Todd, Sydney & the girls. I love seeing our community in action. I imagine it's exactly what God desires for all of us.
Vail & Haven sporting their Hope for Sydney tees! so cute!
Next year you may see me and our little one on a bike. (it may be safer for her to ride with Adam) But I know I want to ride on Hope for Sydney team every year!!!
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